Wednesday, January 9, 2013

This Is Going To Hurt Me More Than It Hurts You!!!

The title is a phrase that I have heard throughout my life as well as on a regular basis from students whose parents are taking corrective action in certain situations.

Every situation in life requires a decision to be made, and deep down, we all know what's right and what's wrong. Whether right or wrong, our decisions have consequences. Imagine for a moment if no one on this earth ever had to suffer a consequence for their action... What type of society would it be?
After 15 years of ministry and 7 years of fatherhood, I have begun to understand the phrase this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you... It truly hurts to see students everyday making decisions that are going to lead them down the wrong path, and at some point they will hit rock bottom based upon the consequences of their decisions. As a father, I have been given a Biblical responsibility as I raise my children to help them determine what's right and what's wrong. When they make decisions that maybe harmful to them, may lead them into more troubling situations or may just be flat-out wrong, I must discipline, so they will learn. However, I have come to believe there are two ways of disciplining my children. First, I can discipline by condemning them which I do not believe is Biblical, or second, I can discipline by loving and restoring them which I believe is the Biblical, Godly approach.

The Word of God says, "Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent."

Though discipline is not easy and it hurts.  It’s never easy to punish one of my children, but if I desire to be a man of Integrity and earn the respect, love and loyalty of my children, it involves some suffering on both our parts to learn the lesson.  When these teachable moments come and they do, it may be a firm word or strict reprimand or a tap on the rear, and the child gets upset.  We must allow a few moments to lapse, so they can ponder and comprehend everything about the situation. BUT before the dust settles and we walk away, WE must speak gently to the child and reassure them it’s over, and we love them.

Discipline without Love = Rebellion

 Discipline with Love = Restoration

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